Monday, March 29, 2010

How to even explain...

So most of the time, I feel normal. Haha ok well I'm strange so not really normal per se, but most moments when I say, "I love you," to Matt, it's normal. Not said without feeling, just the normal amount of love, I guess.

Well I don't know where it comes from.
I never know when to expect it.
But there end up being moments, like yesterday,
Where the feeling becomes so overwhelming it's hard to even describe.

It's like the best drug ever is ripping through my blood vessels at high speeds.
Like I can't breathe, because I mean really, who wants air in your lungs when they're filled with love??
Like holding onto him as tight as I can cannot bring him close enough to me.

And it's amazing! Just kind of indescribable. I was telling Matt yesterday that it was one of those "Love can't even begin to describe how I feel" days.
Because loving him;
Being so grateful for him in my life;
Not knowing if I should be thanking a God, Fate, or Luck;
And seeing that love back...

Well it sure does make for one happy girl over here. :)

Hmmm. Maybe that's it. It sounds strange, but I'm very agnostic with my views on whether or not there is a higher power up there. I sort of believe that there is. I think of it as more energy though, whether it comes from a human-like "made us from His image" God, or just... well, like when there is a huge group of little flowers following the wind over a grassy knoll.

Anyway. When I get these extreme emotions. It almost feels - and I'm hoping this doesn't insult anyone's religious views - Holy
Like that energy is flowing through Matt and me.
Like the connections made when Lyra touches her love's Daemon in The Amber Spyglass.
Like there's a voice whispering, "You found it. This is him. This is real. This is your soulmate."

Whatever it's called, I love it!!! And I'm so grateful to be able to have that feeling for someone else. :)

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