Day 08 → Someone who made your life hell, or treated you like shit.

Oh we all know the answer to this one!

Doucehbag just contacted me the other day, almost exactly a year since everything ended, to "FYI" me that a random website that collects social media had a pic of him and me on it. Because "I'm sure you and your husband would be as grateful as I would to have it removed."

And just my maiden name.

And said I was 23. (aka NOTHING new since then)

And then pic was from my myspace that the account is deleted from.

Hehe the best comment made was from a friend who goes, "It's not like Matt doesn't know you have an ex!"

Guess what, Douchebag. KISS MY ASS AND DON'T SEARCH MY OLD NAME AND YOU WON'T HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING SHIT!!!!

Day 07 → Someone who has made your life worth living for.

Well nobody has ever made my life NOT worth living, but the person besides myself who has made it worth it?

Matt. Completely. 100%. That man makes me smile every single morning with his kisses before dawn and a simple "I love you". He's just... he's perfect for me :)

Day 06 → Something you hope you never have to do.

Attend the funeral of my husband or future children. I don't know if I'd be able to handle losing them. And if it happens, I will be there, and I sure hope I have the strength that Chrissy has, but I don't want to. Matt and I want to go out Notebook style, holding each other when we pass!

Day 05 → Something you hope to do in your life.

Hmmm, these are actually pretty tough.

There are so many things I hope to do. I hope to work with animals again. I hope to become a mom. I hope to have many many wonderful years with Matt.

Other random ones are hoping to go back to Australia at some point, swim with dolphins and manatees, run a 5k (haha you'd THINK that would be an easy goal :-p), etc.

But most of all. I just hope that whatever I do, I accomplish with a smile on my face! :)

Day 04 → Something you have to forgive someone for.

Hmmm.... this one is tough. i refuse to forgive Douchebag for all that he did to me, so he's out of the question...

I guess I have to forgive my parents a little bit. They did their best with all of us. We didn't go to Disney World or any other cool places because we went to private boarding high school. And yes, I appreciate it, but i still do find myself a little bitter sometimes that we didn't have that. And I do forgive them for the mistakes they have made over the years. It's tough sometimes to see where they were coming from, but I think I understand a bit more now.

Day 03 → Something you have to forgive yourself for

Oooooh goodness.

I have to forgive myself for being stupid. For falling for lies. But above all, and this encompasses all of the above, for not loving myself enough to realize my self worth. I let someone walk all over me. Hell, during that time, I let a LOT of people walk all over me! I loved and gave all I had and was blindsided for some reason by the lack of anything coming back.

I am so glad that is no longer me. That now I'm able to only give as much as I can without getting any back. Then I step aside. If friends or lovers (well, not lovers anymore. Hubby is beyond amazing at loving me back equally if not more) want to give, I'll shower them. But not until. And I love that this ACTUALLY WORKED with two people! They were ubder standoffish with me at first, and now they're friendly, nice, and I love spreading the love. :)

But yes. Back to the point.

Emily, I forgive you for not treasuring your many values, your heart, and yourself. You have learned, and as long as you don't go back to that, I won't have to kick your ass! :)

Day 02 → Something you love about yourself.

My mix of sarcasm, cynicism, and pure optimism. It's a strange mix, and sometimes one thing is more prominent, but it means I can be realistic and hope for the best, joke around about it, all with a smile on my face!

Hell, I learned last week there is a chance that I might have PTSD from the douchebag ex, and after the initial shock (and even though I still think my PCM is wrong, and I'll find out when I make a Psych ppt), Matt and I were making jokes about it, laughing and knowing that even if I do, everything will be ok, and we will both still be happy. :)